March 2012
fyeahlilbitoeverything:
mothercheesus:
press...
A Talk With The Ice Cream Guy.
[Ice Cream delivery truck pulls up]
Garth: AWWWW SHIT
Ice Cream Guy: Garth!
Garth: My nigga!
[Ice Cream Guy and Garth exchange an incredibly intricate handshake]
ICG: What you been up to man?
Garth: Hating my job. Then going home, and hating my life.
ICG: And if you had a woman?
Garth: I'd probably hate her too.
ICG: Hahaha, you ain't got it so bad man.
Garth: I don't even think you know what a bad job is. You deliver Ice Cream bro.
ICG: Yeah, I'm sitting fat on a sweet paycheck I won't lie, but hell all you do is stand around.
Garth: See these hands?
ICG: God damn man, they look rough as hell.
Garth: Heat lamps. Tell me how many times your ice cream jumped up and bit you?
ICG: Only a few times. I keep those little bastards in check.
Garth: Man all I'm saying is I get up before Christ gets his coffee, and I sit up here listening to people bitch about shit I can't do anything about all fucking day.
ICG: It can't be that bad.
Garth: People bitch to me about gas prices. About cigarette prices. About how shitty the coffee is. About how the pumps don't fucking work. About how fucking slow my coworkers are. About how much the store has "changed" since the corporation bought it out. And heaven help if I should personally fuck anything up.
ICG: Damn you do hate this mother fucker.
Garth: You bet your ass I do.
Coworker: Bet you wouldn't tell Manager that.
Garth: MANAGER
Manager: YEAH?
Garth: THIS JOB BLOWS
Manager: I KNOW BABY
Garth: Fuck this job. This place is just an amalgam of people getting perpetually shit on all day.
ICG: My heart goes out to you homie.
February 2012
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Anonymous asked: Except they aren't fighting Thor, Captain America or The Hulk. And no, they won't get the shaft. They are Badass Normals that have no problem killing Alien ass.
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HAVING AN AMAZING ANN ARBOR ADVENTURE WITH MY 3...
Amber Shelly
& Tiffany and Cassie!!!
If only i could also have my Original ‘Lesbian Girlfriends’ with me as well, but i’m sure i’ll see them again!
